The book of disquiet by fernando pessoa

the book of disquiet by fernando pessoa
The Book of Disquiet (Livro do Desassossego: Composto por Bernardo Soares, ajudante de guarda-livros na cidade de Lisboa) published posthumously, is a work by Fernando Pessoa (1888–1935), signed under the semi-heteronym Bernardo Soares. With a preface by Fernando Pessoa,orthonym, the book is a fragmentary lifetime project, left unedited by the author, who introduced it as a "factless autobiography".

From the book

I’ve never done anything but dream. This, and this alone, has been the meaning of my life. 
My worst sorrows have evaporated when I’ve opened the window on to the street of my 
dreams and forgotten myself in what I saw there. 
What I basically do is convert other people into my dreams. I take up their opinions, which I 
develop through my reason and intuition in order to make them my own, turning their 
personalities into things that have an affinity with my dreams. 
My life inhabits the shells of their personalities. I reproduce their footsteps in my spirit’s clay, 
absorbing them so thoroughly into my consciousness that I, in the end, have taken their 
steps and walked in their paths even more than they. 
I have a world of friends inside me, with their own real, individual, imperfect lives. 
Some of them are full of problems, while others live the humble and picturesque life of 
bohemians. Others are traveling salesman. (To be able to imagine myself as a traveling 
salesman has always been one of my great ambitions – unattainable, alas!) Others live in 
the rural towns and villages of a Portugal inside me; they come to the city, where I 
sometimes run into them, and I open wide my arms with emotion. And when I dream this, 
pacing in my room, talking out loud, gesticulating – when I dream this and picture myself 
running into them, then I rejoice, I’m fulfilled, I jump up and down, my eyes water, I throw 
open my arms and feel a genuine, enormous happiness. 
Ah, nostalgia never hurts as much as it does for things that never existed!

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